Parashat Lech Lecha: Let G!d Judge Between You and Me
Student Rabbi Maayan Lev
(delivered on October 15, 2021)
This week’s Torah portion is Lech Lecha, a portion so rich, so full of many stories, that it is hard to know what to focus on. There is so much to pull from! Fortunately, the triennial reading cycle has narrowed it down for us.
I am going to talk about the triangle between Abraham, Sarah and Hagar, or as the former two were known at the time, Avram and Sarai. I am not calling it a love triangle, for it is unknown if Avram actually loved Hagar, and while it is easier to believe that Hagar may have loved Avram, it is unclear. The triangle, actually, was not about three people and the love between them, but about the love between Avram and Sarai, and the trials of their marriage.
Sarai tells Avram, “Go and have a child with Hagar, my maidservant, and maybe my lineage will be built up from her.” Perhaps Sarai is truly desperate, and truly means this. But she certainly isn’t happy about this later on. So perhaps she was testing her husband. Earlier in this Torah portion, when Avram could have easily explained to Pharaoh that Sarai was his wife, he instead claimed that she was his sister. And Pharaoh tried to take Sarai as his own wife.
Again, perhaps Sarai is testing Avram. Perhaps she thought, “If the sanctity of marriage means so little to you, and you can easily assign me a new husband, let’s see how you will react when I try to assign you a new wife!”
If it IS a test, Avram fails. Genesis 16:2 informs us, וַיִּשְׁמַ֥ע אַבְרָ֖ם לְק֥וֹל שָׂרָֽי And Avram listened to Sarai’s voice. The Ramban[1] explains, Avram would never have done this without believing he had his wife’s permission. He believes that he is honoring his wife by listening to her wishes. He may have never wanted to be with Hagar in the first place.
But again, this happened because of Avram’s mistakes. According to the Mishnah,[2] Sarai was only childless in the first place because Avram had brought her with him to Egypt. Indeed, according to Ramban, Avram should never have gone down to Egypt, even if there was a famine. Surely, G!d had made a great point about bringing Avram to C’na’an. Surely he should have stayed, and surely G!d would have protected him.
To Ramban, this lack of faith, this descent into Egypt, is the reason why Avram’s descendants are enslaved in Egypt many years later. As the first Jew, Avram made a lot of mistakes. But it is always difficult to be the first of anything, so perhaps we should cut him some slack.
Back to our story though, Hagar begins to mistreat Sarai, and Sarai says to Avram, “May my injustice be upon you!” What had Avraham done wrong? On the surface, nothing. But then again, in a difficult situation like this, perhaps he should have defended Sarai’s honor better. Sarai then says, “ יִשְׁפֹּ֥ט יְהֹוָ֖ה בֵּינִ֥י וּבֵינֶֽיֹךָ” May HaShem judge between me and you!” Not between Sarai and Hagar, but between Sarai and Avram.
Avram tries to honor his wife as best he can, deferring to her. He tells Sarai, “Do to Hagar what you think is proper.” Again, perhaps another mistake on Avram’s part. Sarai treats Hagar terribly in turn, and Hagar runs away.
Our tradition[3] claims that Avraham had 10 trials in his life. Rambam, Maimonides, lists them. The decision to take Hagar as a wife is #5. Number 5, like the fifth commandment concerning honoring our parents. Avram later chooses to expel Hagar and Ishmael. This is trial #8. Number eight, like the days until circumcision, which marks the covenant. The covenant that Ishmael was not a part of.
But despite the many trials and mistakes of Avram, he still had good intentions. Towards the end of Lech Lecha, when God tells him that Sarai, now Sarah will end up with a child that will lead Avram’s descendants, Avram, now Avraham asks, “But what about Ishmael? Perhaps Ishamel should never have been born, for perhaps Avram should have been more faithful that eventually Sarai would have produced a child. But this was Avram’s fault, not Ishmael’s, and Avraham does not leave Ishmael out to dry. God hear’s Avraham’s pleas, and blesses Ishmael.
Taking a page out of Rabbi Sacks’ playbook; I want to tell a story about sports. Just as Abraham didn’t want Ishmael to take the punishment for Abraham’s mistakes, this story is about leaving people out to dry.
If you are a Raiders fan, or follow the football closely, you may have heard what happened this past week with Raiders head coach Jon Gruden, who is now no longer part of the organization. Recently, some old emails of his have been leaked to the public. And like most leaked emails, they were not flattering.
Gruden insulted NFL Players Association Director DeMaurice Smith behind his back, using a rude racial slur to describe him. Naturally, the media had a field day with this.
After looking further into his emails, which the league had access to because of an ongoing investigation into team misconduct, it was discovered that Coach Gruden insulted not only people of color, but also women and gays. This is ironic, because one of the current Raiders players is Carl Nassib, who recently, became the first NFL player to be both openly gay, and to have actually played in a regular season game. There was one problem though: the emails that were recently exposed were actually written 10 years ago, before Gruden even began working for the Raiders.
Can a person really change in 10 years? In SOME cases, I think they can. But knowing what I know about Jon Gruden and his outspoken persona, I doubt that has happened. Let’s say, however, that he is truly remorseful, and has truly changed. Should he still be punished for what happened 10 years ago? Many say yes.
Raiders player Carl Nassib refused to speak to the media, which was telling. But he may as well have said: יִשְׁפֹּ֥ט יְהֹוָ֖ה בֵּינִ֥י וּבֵינֶֽיֹךָ. “May HaShem judge between me and you, Coach Gruden!”
Well, HaShem has spoken. HaShem has spoken through NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell. “Do with him what is proper in your eyes.” After commissioner Goodell has spent considerable resources in recent years trying to clean up the NFL’s image as an intolerant league, he knew that Coach Gruden could not survive this scandal. It would be too harmful for the league’s image.
Goodell put pressure on Raiders owner Mark Davis. Davis spoke to Coach Gruden, and, a few days ago, Gruden resigned. I doubt this was his choice. Coach Gruden was only in his fourth year of a 10-year coaching contract, the highest-paying coaching contract in league history. If he truly just resigned, and was not fired, does he get to keep his money? It isn’t clear, and a lot of people are wondering about it, but that’s actually not what is most important here.
I truly believe there are lots of other people at fault here besides Jon Gruden. He had many enablers, likely including Washington Football Team owner Daniel Snyder. Snyder is going through a scandal of his own right now. The league knows how hard it is to kick out a rich and powerful owner. It is much harder to remove a team owner than remove a team coach. So for the time being, while he still has his title as owner, the NFL has transferred day-to-day ownership operations of the team to his wife. How fitting, this parallel with Lech Lecha! Give the power to your wife!
But while the NFL clearly still has some bad apples in its ranks, probably more than a few, I am still a football fan. What will happen to the Raiders this year? They probably won’t win the Super Bowl, but they still have a winning record at the moment. How do their players feel? Will they be able to recover? This isn’t their fault, yet this will have a great effect on them. Coach Gruden was actually the most well-known name on the team, more famous than any of his players.
Well, just as Abraham expressed to G!d that he didn’t want Ishmael to suffer for Abraham’s own mistakes, I hope that the Raiders do well. I hope that God will make the Raiders into a great nation. A very great nation. Just not as great, as the chosen nation, the Baltimoreans, or as they are sometimes known, the Ravens!
Shabbat Shalom!
[1] The Ramban (Rabbi Moses ben Nachman, also known as Nachmanides), was a leading figure of his generation, as a scholar, philosopher, physician, Kabbalist, and biblical commentator. Born in 1194, he spent most of his life in Spain. Late in life he went to the land of Israel, where he died and was buried in 1270.
[2] Yevamot 6:6.
[3] Mishnah, Pirkei Avot 5:3.