This holiday is a tricky one. During any other celebration, the mere date and time dictate what the holiday is. Rosh Hashanah is about the beginning of the year, Passover is about our peoples’ exodus from Egypt. Even Yom Kippur, we are given a way to navigate the commandment to afflict ourselves and ask for forgiveness.

Thanksgiving is different than the other holidays because it makes a demand on us that might be very difficult depending on our circumstance. The name of the holiday itself dictates that we are supposed to feel a certain emotion on this day. That can be a lot of pressure. For some of us, we’ll be with loved ones, some of whom might push our buttons or frustrate us. For others, the absence of loved ones is felt all too profoundly. We look around the table and see those who are missing, or we celebrate alone and might feel the pangs of loneliness.

Even those of us for whom life is going well and are surrounded by people we enjoy can look to this year and see so much to be sad about. Giving thanks can be difficult to muster when we see the violence and hate in the world.

But that challenge, to remain thankful is at the center of what it means to be Jewish. There has never been a time in human history when everything was going swimmingly for our people. The test has always been how to retain our gratitude when things around us are the opposite of how we would wish.

In a couple of weeks, we will read the story of our ancestor Jacob and his wrestling match with an angel. If you’re familiar with the story, then you know that at the end of the match, his name is changed from Jacob to Israel. The word “Israel” means to wrestle with the divine. While we may know this, it’s important to note that Jacob does not triumph in his wrestling match. He does not score a decisive victory. Rather, he is locked in an eternal embrace with the divine trying to hold on while seeking a blessing.

We wrestle with our lives as well. We experience setbacks and attempt to scale obstacles. We suffer slings and arrows as we try to make our lives look more like we would hope. But like Jacob, sometimes we cannot “win.” It’s impossible to rid ourselves of every trial and difficulty. But we hold on. Sometimes all we can do is hold on. And while we’re holding on, we can be grateful and give thanks for the fact that we are still here, still wrestling and enduring.

I hope your Thanksgiving is a wonderful one, filled with family and loved ones, with blessings and with health. For those who are struggling, reach out to someone. Extend your hand and ask for help. If you do this, maybe you’ll see that you don’t have to wrestle alone. Maybe you’ll see that someone else can support you when you can’t always support yourself. Who knows, you might have even more to be thankful for next Thanksgiving.

Chag sameach, have a happy and healthy holiday,

Rabbi Goldstein