Ne’ilah: Goldberg’s Pencils
(delivered by Rabbi J.B. Sacks on September 25, 2023)
A reporter traveled across the country in search of interesting stories. She arrived at a small town in the Midwest. At first, it seemed like every other town she had visited. However, one thing was different: No one held a cellphone, an ipad, or a laptop. Everyone in town jotted notes down on a pad of paper with a pencil. She couldn’t remember when she had seen so many people with pencils in hand. So, she stopped a clerk in a store and asked, “Excuse me, but can you tell me why in this town everyone uses a pencil?”
The clerk responded, “They’re wonderful! They’re Goldberg’s pencils. When you write with them, they actually make you feel better.”
“What makes these pencils so special?” asked the reporter.
“No one really knows,” answered the clerk. “The pencils are produced in Goldberg’s factory, and no one is permitted to enter the factory, except for Mr. Goldberg.”
Sensing a hot story, the reporter decided to infiltrate the Goldberg Pencil Factory. She found the address, parked her car and, in the dead of night, broke into the factory and waited until morning. Sure enough, at 8:00 am, the factory doors opened, and in walked Mr. Goldberg. The reporter watched him put on an apron, gloves, and goggles and proceed with the production of his pencils. Nothing at all was unusual. Yet just before 5:00 pm, when Mr. Goldberg finished 100 beautiful, yellowish-orange no. 2 pencils, he placed them all upon his worktable and addressed them as follows:
Kinderlach, my dear little pencils: You are about to go forth into the world—schools, businesses, homes, and elsewhere. Remember the following important lessons:
One. Everything you do will always leave a mark.
Two. If you’re not so happy with the mark, don’t worry, you can erase it. Erase it quickly because the longer you leave the mark the harder it will be to erase it, and it will more likely leave a stain.
Three. You will undergo some very painful sharpenings, but you know what—it will make you a better pencil.
Four. At some time, you may end up in a desk for years or behind a shelf or lost on the road, abandoned, forgotten, alone. At those times remember—what makes you a pencil is not what’s outside of you, it’s what’s inside of you.
And, finally, kinderlach, my dear pencils, in order to be the very best pencil in the world, you have to be held and guided by the hand that holds you, so respect that hand, for it will help you become what you were put on this earth to be.
And with that address to the pencils, Mr. Goldberg turned the lights out, went home after a day’s work, and the reporter knew what made Goldberg pencils so special….
Friends–we have prayed. We have beaten our chests. We have sought forgiveness. And we have, I hope, been forgiven.
We will enter shortly into Ne’ilah, the extra, final service of the day, reserved only for Yom Kippur. We have now a final opportunity to express ourselves to the One on High, using the words on the page or the words of your heart.
In the Un’taneh Tokef we prayed to G!d: וְתִפְתַּח אֶת סֵֽפֶר הַזִּכְרוֹנוֹת–”You open the Book of Remembrances.” וּמֵאֵלָיו יִקָּרֵא–”The deeds inscribed therein tell their own story.” וְחוֹתָם יַד כָּל אָדָם בּוֹ–”for each entry is sealed with a person’s own hand.”
Our entire life is thus pictured as a book owned and read by G!d. We are the pencils, the instruments of inscription. Everything we do is recorded by us. Everything we do matters. We leave our own mark. We have prayed that any wrongful notes be erased by G!d, and before they leave a stain. The work we have done over these last 10 Days of T’shuvah have hopefully given us pencils some clear sharpenings. We’ve rediscovered what makes each of us a unique pencil. And we have been reminded to let ourselves be guided by G!d and the enduring values of our Torah and our people.
The sun is setting now. G!d’s seal will soon be applied to the books; our fate will very soon be fixed. But the gates of t’shuvah never close. Although the gates of prayer may be locked, to those who did t’shuvah with fully sincere effort, the gates of tears remain open.
For some, this metaphor of G!d sitting on high, reviewing the Book of Life, and placing our name on the heavenly ledger is helpful. We hope to be Goldberg pencils, G!d guiding us to a holy life. For others, we see ourselves writing our own book–a book that details what we made of our time on this earth.
ספר החיים can mean “the Book of Living.” This day we commit to how we ought to be living. In our Book of Living we write those things that ensure for us a good life. We choose things that help us choose life. We choose t’shuvah, t’fillah, and t’zedakah–changing, resolving, and doing. Through them, we hope to live a good life.
Finally, throughout these Ten Days of Repentance we have chanted
בְּסֵֽפֶר חַיִּים בְּרָכָה וְשָׁלוֹם וּפַרְנָסָה טוֹבָה נִזָּכֵר וְנִכָּתֵב לְפָנֶֽיךָ אֲנַֽחְנוּ וְכָל עַמְּךָ בֵּית יִשְׂרָאֵל לְחַיִּים טוֹבִים וּלְשָׁלוֹם
In the Book of Living, blessing, peace, and good sustenance, may we be remembered and inscribed–us, the House of Israel, and the House of humanity, for enriched living, a life of goodness and a life of peace. This Ne’ilah is our final opportunity to recite these words. Tonight, we replace נִכָּתֵב, inscribed, with נֵחָתֵם, sealed.
We turn outward to G!d seeking blessing and good sustenance. We turn inward to ourselves hoping, promising, and praying that this year we can write ourselves into the Book of Living. Let us note that שָׁלוֹם is the only desire repeated in this brief prayer.
May we be sealed in the Book of Living. May this year we be again Goldberg pencils and live a worthy life. May we all be blessed with a year of shalom. Amen.